“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends” – Martin Luther King Jnr

I used to be friends with a girl who one day told me that I was negative and then stopped talking to me. I found the experience incredibly hurtful and confusing yet also frustrating. It was just when I got engaged to my husband and some mutual friends wondered if she had a crush on him but I’m not sure that’s why. I really don’t know why.

Our paths crossed because she started dating a friend of mine. One day he called me and asked me to keep her company because he was going overseas for work. Of course I agreed.

When we started hanging out she explained that she had stopped talking to her group of friends because her best friends husband had tried to come onto her one night while they were drinking and her friend slept or was in another room. I remembered finding the story weird but didn’t really question her honesty.

During the time we were friends, she mainly complained about her partner (my friend) because of his lack of emotion and affection toward her. Of course this made me feel sad because I thought they were nice people. There were times where they’d fight and she would seek refuge on my couch. I never wanted to take sides but I was mindful that she was from overseas and didn’t have a support network, so always supported her when I could.

About a year and a half ago, I moved home from where I used to live when we were friends. One day I was walking and we crossed paths. After many times of this happening I realised that we actually live directly across from each other.

Although initially it hurt that she ended out friendship the way she did. It allowed me to reflect on the situation. I don’t see fault being mine or hers but I still don’t understand why she did what she did. I once considered writing to her to ask her and to let her know that there are no hard feelings from my side and that I’m sorry for whatever I did to hurt her. But I decided that given she had chosen to avoid eye contact with me so many times that perhaps she didn’t want to hear from me and also that I wasn’t keen to reignite a friendship so maybe things were better left as is.

Today I was leaving work early for an event. As the train pulled up I waited for people to exit and it seemed to take forever. It was because someone was standing right in the doorway where I needed to board the train. I walked past and the handbag the person was holding looked really familiar so I glanced up and it was her.

She didn’t exit at the stop near our place (coincidentally or not). I’m not sure what lesson the universe is sending me via this person. I often wonder what story she told her new group of friends about me and my friends. I might never know.